VH1 Honors..um, Hip-Hop…Not So Much At the Door

(boooooo…I missed this…slick rick one of my 5 favs of all time)

Last night, I attempted to bully my way into the VH1 Hip-Hop Honors show, which I have always advocated is one of the best hip-hop shows that we get to see each year. Last year I had extra tickets when I saw Tribe. It was a great show. This year, friends to the blog–Naughty By Nature–were being honored, so I just KNEW I was going to be able to get a ticket and sit down and watch the show. Well, getting in was easy (but that’s only for a slickster like me who knows how to finnagle my way into anything), but staying was a lot harder. Here’s how it went down:

I arrived at the venue super early. Artists were actually asked to be there at 2 (2!!!), so I came at 5:30 and was slipped an artist’s talent pass to sneak my way in first. But when I got in, even that wouldn’t admit me to the mezzanine level where you could sit down, and since I had heels on, I wasn’t about to stand and wait for the show to start, and then stand and wait during the show. Standing is for those who are getting paid to be there. I’m gonna find me a ticket! On my way out, I bumped into Planet Asia, who was there with Cypress Hill, another group getting honored. I think the theme was like the early 90s. Cool, I thought, my favorite time (thinking in my head of a piece I wrote in the 150th issue of the Source on the year 1994 being the second best year in hip-hop).

Okay, so knowing that media credentials were being handed out at the hotel around the corner, I made my way up to the 7th floor (or maybe it was the 4th), and proceeded to the wrong room. But lo and behold, it was meant to be, because I ran into KRS-One who was picking up his tickets. Of course, I stopped to talk to him until his peoples regulated us to stop yapping since he had to leave to perform at Madison Square Garden (I think in my head, Hmm…hip hop honors going down here at the Hammerstein…and KRS and Rakim are performing down the block at MSG…Now, i’m conflicted….i should take KRS up on his offer and go to his show.) But while I’m telling KRS-One that he is mentioned in my book, in walks Simone, not his wife, but Monie Love. She says I’m the only one in the world who says her name the way I do (I pronounced it “cimoney”). We start to show each other pictures of the kids, then she shows me where to go to get media passes. I walk up to the desk as if I was on the media list, knowing I’m not. Luckily, a guy walks in and recognizes me. “Kim Osorio,” he says to the one holding the list. “Her pass is in an envelope.” Cool. Now, I get handed a sticker. “Where does this get me?” I ask. “The media room,” they respond. “Can I see the show?” I ask. “Yes, on the screens,” they reply in chorus. Screens? I’m thinking. I want to sway my arms back and forth in true hip-hop hooray fashion. I can’t watch on the screens. I accept the media sticker though. It is all I have. I leave.

Sav Killz (?) decides to give me a CD. Something I don’t want to hold. But I’ll hold it for the love of hip hop.

Now, I’m back at the venue. Time is moving slowly. I’m bored. I tell Planet Asia to let me take a picture of him. He does. But it’s too dark. My good camera phone went dead so i use the backup. Picture comes out shitty.

I still have much of it to waste. So I call Cimoney (she’s gonna kill me for this LOL). “Where are you?” I say. “Come on to the red carpet,” she responds. We sneak by security. I walk with her and her boo. Ironically, Monie is in the middle. I don’t have a red carpet credential. Security asks, “y’all trying to get to the stars?” Monie responds under her breath: “We are the stars.” I agree, at a hip-hop show as such, we should be. Right?

Wrong. Me no allowed on red carpet. Monie proceeds to get drops. I ran into an old co-worker. We are talking about the book. I need to finish this blog and send her a copy. Shameless plug.

So now, there’s an hour left before the show actually starts, and my feet are hurting. People I know (in hip hop) are emailing me asking if I can get them in. Not likely.

Can’t go this way…can’t go that way…you know where i can go? I think, Home! I walk behind the stage and out the back before it even starts. Scarface is standing by the metal detector. “I need a hug,” he says to me. “Do you remember me?” I respond. “Uh…I know you?” he asks. He doesn’t remember me, I figure. I hug him and say…”You came up to play your album years ago.” He looks bedazzled. Probably thinking, oops, wrong girl to get at. Security is not letting him in. He is waiting outside, but he’s supposed to be PERFORMING. Weird. He hollas at another girl walking by.

Juelz going on while I’m going out. He’s doing the tribute to Naughty. At rehearsals the other day, he was practicing O.P.P. He kept uttering the first line “O.P.P. How can I explain it?” over and over. I was thinking, he may not have learned the verses yet. I know all the words to OPP by heart. I’m a lot older than Juelz.

On the way home, we see DJ Premier getting out his car. KRS needed him to deejay the MSG show at the last minute. Premier is around the corner with no plans to be at hip-hop honors, I think. Interesting. Later on, while I’m watching the debate, comfortably in my pajamas, with a glass of chardonnay in hand. I get wind of the fact that Kool Herc is not allowed inside. I overhear a phone conversation right next to me, “Wow, Kool Herc can’t get in. If it weren’t for Kool Herc, we might all be working freestyle music right now.” I laugh. Shame. I’ll catch it on TV. Then comes the question, “Isn’t your book on VH-1 Books?” Precisely.

Still, a bit disappointed I missed Naughty.

(yes, that’s an outtie)